#48- My music.

I have a variety of music on my Ipod and computer. It varies, everything from classic Aerosmith, Live, Static X, Mudvayne, Brooks and Dunn, Fuel, Eric Clapton, and Hollywood Undead, a little over five days music all together. I started this collection about five years ago, every so often adding music if I'm thinking about it. Every song has a different meaning behind it. Kinda like whenever I hear Limp Bizkit's Three Dollar Bill I think back to 1998 when I graduated high school. A carful of friends having absolutely nothing else to do but cruise around Pekin in a convertible, having the best time ever. Then there are the great ones. This would be the majority of my collection. All the classics from the 60's, 70's and early 80's. Whenever I would go on trips with my dad in the semi that would be all he would listen to, so I learned to like it. Now if I'm in the car and there’s nothing on I usually just flip it to 95.5. I remember one of my friends jokingly told me that she credits me for bringing rap into our town. Being that young we had only two options for music, country or oldies. I had gotten a bunch of cds from a friend and mixed in all the 80's hair bands was a Warren G cd. I remember taking it over to my other friends house and listening to it over and over, memorizing all the lyrics. And I'll listen to things like Manchester Orchestra and it reminds me of my more recent friends that I've made. Take my friend Kendra for instance. If I had never met her I wouldn’t have never of gotten the tattoo I really wanted. All the music I have in my collection is there for a reason. No matter what genre they are or who sings them, they all have a story behind them, and a memory. Regardless if it's having the best prom ever because you decided to go with one of your best friends or remembering someone you really miss, they all have a memory behind them that basically tells the story of your life.

#75 my mom

The last time I seen my mother was fifteen years ago. It wasn't one of those endings that you want to share with you kids or even you friends. It all started about 13 years ago. Before I start, you have to understand that I love my mother very much; it's just really hard to deal with her. No matter what I did or didn't do, we just didn't get along. I sorta kind of gave up trying after a while; I know she gave up along time before that. I never really thought I was a bad kid growing up. I was pretty self-sufficient from a young age. I would get myself up and get to school on my own. My mother was usually already gone to work when I got up, working two jobs she was gone before I got up and didn't get home till after I went to bed. Yeah I would go out on weekend with my friends, but we never caused any trouble, so I figured I was a lot better than some other kids my age. By the time I was 17, the tension between the two of us was getting ready to break. I had just started dating a new guy that had transferred to my school. We were like any new couple. Wanting to spend all our time together, anything we did was about the other person. My mother was trying to do the whole dating thing as well, and every since my father, she really didn't have any luck. I think that it all kind of hit her and she just kind of snapped. I came home one night after being out with Shawn and a few of out friends, I'll admit it, I was running a little late, but only about fifteen or twenty minutes. She was waiting up for me like a concerned parent would do. But she was far from concerned, she was more pissed then anything. Not because I was late but because I was "out with him", as she frequently referred to him. Now usually I am pretty calm about these things, but a person can only handle so much. I proceeded to remind her, "I am a very responsible person. I attend school regularly, work part-time at the local store, and help out with anything I can around the apartment. It just pisses you off because you know I'm going to actually make something of myself." As soon as that came out of my mouth, I just froze. I couldn't believe I had just said that. I think we were both thinking the same thing. She just looked at me, stood up and went to her room. It took a few days for her to start talking to me again. I never told her, but the next day I started looking for an apartment. It's not what I wanted to do, but I just couldn't handle being around someone that took happened in trying to make me miserable. Within three weeks I had an apartment ten minutes away from work and a short public transit ride to school. I went home and began to pack all my stuff. I never told my mother that I was moving, I just did it. I finished school graduating with honors, and began attending college right after high school. I eventually graduated from college and started to begin my new career. So, now here I am, on the morning of my wedding, thinking about everything that I missed out on everything that she had to miss. I'm not proud of how I did things, I actually really regret it. But the one thing that my soon to be husband has taught me, you shouldn't spend your life living in the past. I am really lucky to have him, without him I would never have had the nerve to go and finally see my mother. And now, I get to share one of the biggest days of my life with her.